I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I have an existential map. It has "You are here" written all over it.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do all the rest have to drown too?

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second.

quote by Steven Wright
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!