My Addiction
My addiction
It is a story of my addiction
Loved her a lot
Cared a lot
However, everything I do for her, never seems perfect
I am truly alone and not even my addiction is with me anymore
She is so far away, that her presence I cannot even feel
I am addicted to her
However, she is not addicted to me
Since, she can live without me
Love, seems good in stories
Although, in reality love pains and does make one bleed
Tears of joy always fade away
Sorrow creeps in life
To be honest I feel so empty without you
Although, reaching out to you is impossible
Earlier, I tried my best
To impress you, I did everything
However, you are my addiction, which is out of my reach
All that I can do is weep and weep
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poem by Rohit Sapra
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Cyberspace
Sitting, all alone in front of the computer. It is like a personal computer is my only friend now. It allows me to chat with strangers since they cannot see me and judge me. Thoughts, just thoughts I share with them as I am hoping to find a friend who will love me so much that not even the shadow of sadness, comes near me.
More often than not the strangers just leave, once they learn the truth about me. In real world nobody wants to be in love with a psycho. My chemical imbalance of bi-polar disorder sometimes just turns to be uncontrollable.
Then, I feel depressed and very sad because then I start to weep in my extreme loneliness. Cyberspace is the only space where I can possibly search for love, so some of my wounds can heal.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Truly Deeply I Love
She never stared into my eyes
Distances were so far that could not even kiss my lips
Still, every time I found her to be near me
Her heart, confessed her love to me
I did the same
By confessing my love to her, I shared my deep feelings
Slowly both came closer by forgetting the distances
Had to hold her tight, I did
Though, this time she left me
So now I do not hold myself guilty for any sin
I had learnt from my mistakes
However, she never could hold me tightly
This is the only complain I have
She is an amazing woman
Not many like her are alive in this world
I guess she could not see the deep love in my eyes
That is why I am here alone and weeping for her
Hope, I hope that she understood deep love of mine
It pains, truly deeply.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Voices
Blames of my existence are just increasing
Being blamed for something which I never did do
Never did I commit a sin knowingly, although sins are really never known while committing
Everyone just passes out while being alive
The senses just fade, while living
Nothing is present, it is complete stillness
Voices I cannot hear
Complete silence from now, life is going to have
The stillness is going to take a course which will forever be
In this life where everything is temporary, quietness is the only thing eternal
Living in a cage, nobody does like
Sometimes, the heart just desires to break the shackles in every way possible
Nobody can restrain my views
My real thoughts, no longer will be held
I am free, voices are going to be unheard.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Kisses till Eternity
Only want to love and never hurt. Actually, I am just hoping that a princess will come into my life. Where is the princess, I obviously do not know? Loving someone with all my heart is basically my desire and it is not about lust. This feeling is about love as it is natural to like and love someone, with whom we actually feel complete.
Obviously, desire is always not evil since desire can be about something good as well. That good thing can even be a girl if she completely understands. Love, cannot be achieved through one kiss. It will have to be kisses till eternity, with the same person if love is pure.
Reality is that I cannot claim to be perfect or even the best. Just being as good I can be is the thing which I often try to do.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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I Am Sorry
I AM SORRY FOR EVER HURTING YOU
MY MISTAKE WAS TO NEVER UNDERSTAND YOU
NOW I FEEL SO SORRY
GUILTY I FEEL AND HAVE NO WORDS TO EXPLAIN
I DESERVE NOT LIFE BUT DEATH
FOR HURTING YOU SO MANY TIMES, I AM SO SORRY
JUST SIMPLY DEATH I DESERVE
I CANNOT BE CALLED GOOD
ALTHOUGH, NOW I AM TRYING TO BE VERY GOOD
IT IS NOT TO HAVE YOU BACK
SINCE, I CAN NEVER HAVE YOU BACK
ALL THAT I WANT TO SAY IS THAT YOU WERE GOOD
I WAS BAD, ALWAYS WAS VERY BAD
DESERVE I DO NOT TO BE ALIVE
ONLY MY DEATH CAN EVER FIX MY LIFE
A SLICE OF MY BLOOD WILL BRING ME CLOSER TO DEATH
NOT WRITING THIS TO IMPRESS YOU
ONLY TRYING TO REPENT THE MISTAKES I MADE
TRYING TO LEARN AS I REGRET IN FAILING TO LOVE YOU
MY MISTAKE WAS LETTING YOU GO
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poem by Rohit Sapra
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Very Far Away
Things feel truly very horrible as life is so painful. The night is always the most depressing and night time is the time which I never feel like remembering. Ever night is painful and the day is bright.
Hate every individual has for me. This hate will continue to increase and intensity of hate will also be at its peak sometimes. Then, how am I going to survive? How will I fight my fears? Will I ever win over my fears?
I hate when the night arrives as the dark is not my friend anymore. Now, I like the brightness however a big question remains that will the glow ever fully be?
Honestly, nothing is actually alright and I have no clue about things. A dark night is now my biggest fear since it takes away my hope, all my hope very far away from me.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Please Read This
Just feel like leaving everything in the hands of god
Do not know what the future holds?
Just want to leave everything to just happen
When I worry, everything just starts to make me tense
Then, the feeling is really annoying
Nothing is up to me, since I cannot control anything
Only can let things be
Do you really think that I dislike you?
Can you not realize how much I love you?
Do you not feel the pain, I have in my heart
Fact, is that I do not blame anyone for it
It is just the way, things have turned out to be
Our fate has made each other go so far away from each other
Now, everything is in the hands of god
Our destiny will be decided by the almighty
I hope, everything just turns out to be good
That is my only wish and I really do love you.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Shadows of the Dark
Feelings just feel so lost and I have no idea how to figure my way out?
Tried my level best although finding my way out is not such an easy option
Life is never so easy to figure out
How can I tell you that what are my ways, so things can be figured out?
Do not know how to figure out the right path?
Let me complete my cigarette first
Then I will think of which path to follow?
Right options are difficult to search
I cannot tell which is the exact path
Still, I am trying to figure out my way
Trying to navigate the directions to follow
Thinking of ways to come to terms to life.
My ways are still somewhere in between nowhere
Do not know the exact locations of my whereabouts?
Just me alone here, feels like being, nobody among the shadows of the dark.
poem by Rohit Sapra
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Till My Last
With the warmth of my heart I love
Feelings of my soul dream about you
Everything is so incomplete without you
My heart is desperate for you
I want to reach to you
Closer I want to come
You are so far from me
Then, how can I even try to come closer?
Feelings of mine die for you
Desperate I am for you
Suffering I am without you
Why do you not understand me?
Never have I wanted to hurt you
Only have desired to love you
In my heart you live
My sugar you have always been
I Love You
Do not go further away from me
Give me a chance to love you and care for you
Forever, you are mine
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poem by Rohit Sapra
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