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Robin Williams

Reality: What a concept!

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Comedy is acting out optimism.

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Carpe per diem - seize the check.

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When in doubt, go for the dick joke.

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Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

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I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.

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Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

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I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.

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Spring is nature's way of saying, ""Let's party!""

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Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.

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