My Father's Eulogy

Ladies and Gentlemen,
You are all gathered here today
To pay your respects to someone you knew.
However,
I come today not to bury my father
But set him free.
You see
The man who was my father died
Along with his dreams
Many years back.
He was slowly crushed by disappointments
Until he no longer wished to fight
This shell was not the father of my childhood
Who stood straight as the redwoods
He is not the man who knew how to laugh and play.
My father bartered his pride for too small a price
And became a pauper.
His self esteem slipped away long before his last breath.
He had been trying to suffocate himself
Under his own weight.

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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It's How I Feel

Speaking plainly
It's not something you and I do…
Not really
Not when it matters
We talk about the weather
We discuss the benign events in our life
I hold back
So you hold back
There's a calculated way we have
That masks some very non-calculated feelings
Feelings that
EXIST
No matter how cool
No matter how calm
No matter how calculated
Our exteriors
How unattached our conversation
They manage to bubble to the surface
Demanding to make themselves known
In some very non-calculated moments

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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What To Do When You're Confused

What to do, what to do, what to do
When you're confused
You could
Choose to stay
In this new found state
Of confusion
Marinate in it..so to speak
But
That may leave you
With unanswered questions
You could write in your journal
Pour over all the possibilities
The various solutions to your confusion
You could talk to someone who doesn't know you well
Because you'd want some impartial input
Which could leave you even more confused
Because they can only help you according to
Their understanding
Of your situation
You could google some answers

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Looking

I'm standing here..
On the threshold of change.

Standing on a precipice
High as the sky
Thin as a hair
Sharp as a razor.

And, I'm looking below

One wrong move, and, I'll be cut to pieces..

I don't know
Where to look anymore..

I've looked high and low
In the eyes of strangers

I never found me, and I haven't found you.

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Sometimes

Sometimes..
I wish I would have met you in a different time, a different place
Sometimes..
I wish you really knew how I felt
Sometimes..
I wish you could just read my mind
Sometimes..
I wish things were different
Sometimes..
I wish I had told you how I feel
Sometimes..
I wish I had let you in
Sometimes..
I wish you could feel how I feel
Sometimes..
I wish you had tried harder
Sometimes..
I wish you wouldn't have given up
Sometimes..
I wish you would just be straight with me

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Still Uncertain

There are times in your life
When the puzzle pieces start to fit together
You think you understand
Can see part of the big picture
Unless
The picture changes
And something alters it
All together
There are times in your life
When you start to see
Dots forming lines
Lines coming together
Forming a picture
Unless
The picture changes
And something alters it
All together
Universes of understanding existing in
Bigger Universes
You knew the world was flat

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Longing For You

Breaths mix, mingle
Become infused in warmth
Softness, taste and texture.
Hands reach out to touch
Silky hair and
Soft smooth perfumed skin.
First kisses are always so memorable
So passionate.
I watch the new lovers
Wanting
Wanting to climb into each others' clothes
Into each others' skin.
I watch her hold on to his thick coat collar
Those tiny fists full of lambswool
So full of fire.
I watch him holding her at her waist
Wanting to bring her closer but afraid to
Needing to hold on to something so he won't drown..
Get lost in her.
I watch them

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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You

You are an unexpected surprise.
Pleasant
Like cotton candy melting on the tongue.
I didn't know I could feel this way again,
Didn't expect to be swept off my feet.
I trust you
Like I did my first love.
For some reason when you complement me,
I believe it.
I don't dismiss it as I have with so
Many others.
I like the fact that you still read the news paper in the mornings
And
Don't log onto the internet for all the news.
I like the fact that you were YOU
When we met,
Grounded, down to earth, comfortable in your skin.
There was a catch in my throat when our eyes met.
But, when I felt the pull,
For the first time, in a very long time

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Stating It Simply.. So, You'll Understand

It isn't always me..
But this is your flawed method of communication
I told you it's confusing..
I am not the one
Telling you I'm longing for you
If you notice, If you'll bother to recall
The few times I've communicated
There's a pattern
As for never going home again,
Don't I know it..
I lost my home at twenty six
It was devastating
But,
I picked myself up
Mended myself
And, everything since
Has been cake..
I've been trying to tell you
Not everything is about you
I write to express myself

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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Unexpected Things...

It's unexpected..
But it's something that causes you to catch your breath..
Make you sway
Perhaps it makes your pupils dilate..
The look of his fingers as they dance on a keyboard..
Those hands are unexpectedly
Somehow
Attractive
She imagines them on her..
And, a blush creeps to her cheeks
Making her flush
Making her warm
An unexpected glance at her flesh..
Her shirt lifts as she reaches up to adjust something too high...
It's that area at the small of her back
Near her side
And,
His eyes linger..
Tracing her form
While she is unarmed in her lack of awareness

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poem by Rabia Minhas
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