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Phyllis Diller

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

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His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

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Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.

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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

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Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.

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Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.

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