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Paula Poundstone

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

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I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

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They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.

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The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

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I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

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Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.

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The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

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My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

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