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Mort Sahl

My life needs editing.

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The bravest thing that men do is love women.

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A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

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People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.

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Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. Had he run unopposed he would have lost.

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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children Well, she and I were.

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We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

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Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

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Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.

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Mort Sahl
Mort Sahl