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Marline Johnson

In My Nightmares

In my nightmares, I am running from the truth.
All is see is myself lonely, and trapped in a dark room.
But what could I really be running from?
I am running from the fact that I don’t have a father.
I grew up not knowing who he was.
Everyday I would wonder if he missed me as much as I missed him.
Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep because I felt so alone.
I know that I will never have the perfect family.
I know that my dad won’t be there to dance with me
At the father daughter dances or even give me away at my wedding.
I cried because I felt like there was something or someone missing.
I already knew that he wasn’t coming back.
But that’s not what hurt the most.
What hurts the most was thinking that I was probably the reason why he left.
People say I shouldn't blame myself.
But if I was so great then why did he leave in the first place?
Why was he never there on any of my birthday’s?
Or when I graduated Elementary School.
How come he won’t be there when I graduate High School or college.
But what is the saddest part is that my nightmares are reality!

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