The Pain That Its Inside Of Me

Aggravation builds up in me.
Everybody telling me No You cant do it
Maybe they are right
Maybe I cant do it
The complexity is too much.
Should I just quit ahead of time?
Tears stinging my eyes
Yet they are where nobody can see them
Frustration taunts me
Even in my dreams
The dreams are so vivid
I dont know where to go
Or what to do
I have completely lost what was left inside of me

There wasnt much
But now there is not even a speck.
I try to keep my head up
But the impact knocks me down
I cant smile without something to remind me of the past

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poem by Makayla Straight
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Ex Daughter

I hate the fact I look more like you everyday
It scares me that I act like you more than I did yesterday
But I know I will not turn into you
I am not some monster who throws away their kids like nothing,
Stop the act mom
I know you do not give a damn about us
Us as in Richard, me, Hannah, Steven, Jessalyn, April and Ashley, Alexander, and I dont know how many other kids
We all could die and yet you wouldnt know nor would you care

I hate the fact that you gave birth to me
Just because you gave birth to me does not mean your my mom
I have a mom.
And its not you
Stop trying to claim me as your child.
I have nothing to do with you
Nor do I want it
You lost me
Accept that and move on

I hate the fact that I am turning into you

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poem by Makayla Straight
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Please Not Another Love Song

Please not another love song.
Pease no more baby,
Baby I need you.
Honey honey
I love you.
Please no more.
We all know the truth,
We all know how people leave us.
Just please not another love song.
We all know it's a lie how people are always there for us.
Then they turn their backs and we will be stuck with that love song.
So please no more songs that involve love.
Please no more sugar sugar your the only one in my eyes.
Sweetie, sweetie I want to me with you.
Just please not another love song.
We all know what happens at the end,
We get a heartache while the stupid love songs are on the radio. Please, Please no more.
No more songs about love
Cause we all know the end of the story.
We will be in pieces.

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poem by Makayla Straight
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Lay Me Down

Lay Down
By MaKayla Straight

I lay my head down peacefully
Knowing that this is the last night I live
I close my eyes
And think about all the good things that has happened to me
I try to hide my tears
Though I do not know why I hide them
Nobody is around here to see
See that these are really happy tears
Happy because I know that I have lived my life the way I wanted too.
I was not in chains my whole life
I figured how to break the spell
I know I am not beautiful
I know I am not perfect
I know there is not much about me
I know
I know
I know

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poem by Makayla Straight
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My Nearly Suicide

They say when one dies
Another comes
Its all about the timing
Well I tried to end my time
I tried to get another life to come
Patience is not a fan of mine
Nor am I a fan of patience
I suppose it was not my time
For I am still alive and strong
Why?
Only him above knows why
The moment of weakness
Is the moment the baby should of came
Instead I am here writing this poem
If it was not my time
When is my time
When shall that mother give labor
To a newborn that takes my place on Earth

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poem by Makayla Straight
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My true story about myself

People stop ordering me around. I am only one person, yet you treat me like I am twelve people. I can only do one thing at a time. I am sorry I am really slow. I am only a child, I'm still trying to be kid while I have a chance. But, you see you people give me the responsibility of an adult. I am tired of ruining my plans, to do adult things. I don't want a perfect childhood but I would like a nice one where I would be able to do teenager things. I want to be a normal child, even if I am not. You people are driving me crazy with all these do this, do that. I'm sorry, but if this a normal childhood, I rather be dead. I feel like that when I try to talk nobody could hear me. I could scream and nody would hear me. I am invisable. Besides who would want to see a girl who has no mother, a father she never sees, who is a nobody, who can't make a difference, who is hideous, who can't do anything right, who is ashamed for everything she is? Sometimes I think about killing myself, actually I do it a lot. It's just I am so tired of being used. I am used one way or the other. I always wonder what would happen if I die. Would anybody care? Would anybody even notice? NO! Yes I know I made mistakes. but isn't the point of life, is make mistakes and learn from them. I know I made a lot, but I would never take any of them back. I don't care anymore about what other people say. I am just so tired of this. I can't live like this much longer. There has to be a change, and quick. To tell you the truth, I even thought about running away. I don't know where I would go. I do know is that I would never return. I'm sick of having responsibility of an adult, and everybody tells me to be a kid. HOW? When I'm constantly cleaning, cooking, cleaning, cooking, school, school, homework, cleaning, cooking? Can I please have a break once in a while. I am begging you. What did I do to deserve this? I think I have a right to know.

poem by Makayla Straight
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Michael Jackson

I didn't get to say goodbye
I didn't get to tell you that I love you
I didn't even tell you how I feel

You left in a hurry
Without a sound
With no clues

I have to ask why
Why did you have to leave me
Why didn't you tell me how you feel

I don't understand
Why you left
Is it because the God wanted you
But I am selfish I won't share you
Not even with God

You were my hero
My idol

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poem by Makayla Straight
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