With My Heart

The dawn of another morning
The dawn of an old longing
Long for your company

I once was passion on fire
But now a gun for hire
Cause something came tween you and me

I loved you with all I had
But you threw it all back
Threw it back in my face

But if you ever need somewhere
Somewhere where you needn't fear
You can come to my place

You can tear me up in pieces
Lay them out in the street
Each one would cry, every part

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Magic Smile

There's a pretty girl
Somewhere in this world
Whose smile shines bright
Even when all's night
Even when I'm feeling down
Hers is a smile that turns me round
Shiny blue eyes drag you in
But her smile is what really wins
Her loose blonde hair looks fine
But her smile wins every time
If there ever was a smile
That seeing was worthwhile
Yours was it, a million bucks worth
None other like it on earth
Don't know if you know
But thought I'd let you know
About your magic smile
Cause its something worthwhile
Baby, don't ever lose it
Keep that smile on your lips

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Demon

I fell on my knees to pray, found a demon in my safest haven.
Hideous deformation of some craved being from which I'm fleeing.
Footsteps behind me, torture my mind, wondering if a remedy I'll find.
Doesn't matter where I am, this monster still finds me, inside me is he.
Screaming, smashing my head on the bricks, cause I'm so strong yet weak.
Can't kill what I can't find, but I've still found something I can't kill!
Claws, they dig into my flesh, I'm tormented each day, slowly wasting away.
Enemies, all around, but I've got one deep inside, just one - who's almost done.
God, how do I get this demon out? It's driving me insane, cause I'm a dying man.
It's choking the life out of me, from inside out, filling me with doubt.
I went looking for the enemy, found him already in.

Story behind the poem:
The greatest enemy that we face is ourselves. Sometimes it's like there's this demon inside who just won't get out. Forget about the enemies outside, we've got one inside, ourselves, and that's more than enough to bring us down.

poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Fatality

Hey you, stuck dreaming of your perfect world,
But when they come, letting chances dropp cold.
Hey you, wishing for a perfect ending,
But when it comes, you're never daring.
You kept getting stuck cold out here,
So now you live in a fairyland far from here.
Stuck with your head in fantasy,
While it's out in front where you won't see.
Fuelling yourself on these great air towers
While you're lying in bed, alone for hours.
Crying out that someone would call your name,
When really, you only got yourself to blame!
You say that you want love? But when one comes with it,
You toss and throw them out.
These chances they come but they won't stay,
So you better take ahold before they, slip away!
So you're stuck inside a world you hate,
Surrounded by walls you can can't break.
Take a look in the mirror, tell me who you see?
Cause it took so long to get to me,

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Fragile

In the sacred hallways of heaven,
A crystal jewel so precious and rare.
Nestled amidst grass, thick and soft as down.
So soft and fragile, one must only whisper there.

Tis jewell, a beauty rare, so hard to find, unique.
So perfect and complete- but touch it and it breaks.
With our cracked, scarred hands, we are to hard.
So we visit there in dreams, that we forget when we wake.

Silence, untouchable it seems. To here a feat indeed.
To take hold, greater still, for the jewel's fragility
Is so great, we can but whisper it for fear it'll disappear.
This jewel is everything we wish that we could be.

Fragile-like a finch egg. A layer so thin you tremble in fear.
Like the water surface - feeling every vibration.
So perfectly delicate - like the blossoms just open - so fragrant.
To mishandle once brings condemnation.

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Sincere

Life use to be simple. Emotions clear.

Friends were friends, nothing to fear.

The kiss of a friend, the shake of a hand.

They were all signs of a friend, an honest man.

But now I look in your face and wonder what you hide.

Wonder what you really think, when you confide.

Now I no longer trust what I'm told.

Now that I'm no longer young but old.

I look deep into your face, trying to place

The words you say, wondering what parts you erase.

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Darness of My Heart

Quaint little house, oh, so spotless white,
So innocent, clean and pure, bathed in light.
Inside this house, so cosy and fine,
This house is my heart — this house is mine.
Wherever the sunlight touches, quite clean,
But in the dark shadows, demons unseen.
In here lives a tortured man — the real me.
Every day I fight myself — fight to be free.
In here are my thoughts, the gross and vile,
Things that make me sick, and hate bitter as bile.
I may seem alive, but I feel mostly dead;
I’m living in an atmosphere of pure lead.
A whited sepulchre, tomb for men deceased,
Filled with rotting bones on which worms feast.
Every second I’m waging a ruthless war,
A war unlike any war, a war not bound by law.
Tortured soul of mine, trapped in this abode,
Crushed and weighed down with a heavy load.
The darkness presses so hard around —
I scream yet no help seems to be found.

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Jonah

Jonah was God’s special prophet;
One stormy day a whale he met.
He had run far, far, far away,
From where he was to be that day.

He had went on a old tough ship
That was now by big waves whipped
But he was tired as the storm broke
And went and snuggled in his cloak

So down in the old ship he slept
While the others on the ship wept
Captain came down him to awake
Call on your god for your own sake

They would cast lots to see just why
The gods wanted them all to die
Up on the deck they cast the lot
Who’s fault was it for what they got?

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Pieces

Pieces of me, pieces of you, consisting of others
Teachers, friends, coaches, mothers, and fathers.
The older we get, the more we see
Pieces of others, that make up today's me.
Little things that we learnt from years past
Little things to which we now hold fast
Ways to do, views to see, ways to live
Ways to love, grow, to learn and to give
So many people, each with a little contribution
Many of whom never have attribution
For the things they gave, the things they taught.
Things that are priceless, cannot be bought.
Some of them will never know
How much they helped others grow
They will never perceive their influence
Neither will they see the difference.
Pieces of you, pieces of me, rubbing off everywhere
A little on her, and a little on him there
Forever changing their lives, for worse or better
Making them weaker, or making them stronger

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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Play My Heart Out

My jaw is rattled
Head spinning dizzy.
Flat on my back,
staring at nowhere.
Blood pulsing in,
Swirling round then out
Biceps busted
Heels rubbed and scrubbed.
Busted lip is just the tip.
Ribs feel like they're in bits
Shame this game.
Giving all for nothing at all;
Tis days till I'll be ok.
Shame you's who don't show up.
Damn all those coughs and hacks.
Yeah. I did some today.
One too many was done.
But heck, next week i'll be back
Play my heart out again.

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poem by Joses Tirtabudi
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