Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.

quote by Johnny Carson
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If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

quote by Johnny Carson
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I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.

quote by Johnny Carson
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Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

quote by Johnny Carson
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I knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

quote by Johnny Carson
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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

quote by Johnny Carson
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Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: ""Are your ready?""

quote by Johnny Carson
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Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing, you'll like yourself, you'll have inner peace. And if you have that, along with physical health, you will have had more success than you could possibly have imagined.

quote by Johnny Carson
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