Stealing Cigarettes, Etc (A Kid's Complaint)
I've been stealing cigarettes again.
You think it isn't nice -
You can hardly blame me though,
Considering the price!
I stayed out most of Saturday night
And gave my parents quite a fright.
They're really strict and mean
And always have to make a scene -
I tried to tell them it's alright
And there's no need to get uptight;
But they always moan and complain,
It's driving me insane!
Next time they ask me where I've been
I'll slam the door and start to scream!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Beer and Fags
Life's a dilemma - you've got to choose -
Surely the amswer's cigarettes and booze!
Come on, my friend, you've got nothing to lose,
You'll be a fool if you refuse!
No-one can tell you what to do,
None of your friends have got a clue,
Don't run to them if you're feeling blue
(When it comes to morons, I know a few!)
Drink is the final panacea,
And cigarettes come pretty near,
So stop complaining, the answers here,
Drown all your sorrows in a pint of beer!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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A Fantasy
I wandered in a dream
And heard bluebells chime by the water,
Saw unicorns drink from the stream
And heard wild, whirling elvish laughter.
I realized things are not what they seem,
That little boys worship the river's daughter,
That angels grunt and butterflies scream
While good men go like lambs to the slaughter.
It was only a silly dream
But it has haunted me ever after,
When lights burn low and candles gleam,
When graveyards groan and their corpses mutter.
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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A Social Taboo (Part Two)
I'm sorry, little child, they've fixed a taboo
Which means I can't show my love to you,
We're both of us innocent, unlike their minds,
One has to be honest and take as one finds,
You're gentle and sweet and dear to my heart
But the folly of adults must keep us apart,
It's jealousy and suspicion that throws the first stone,
Why, in heaven's name, can't they leave us alone?
I hope you don't grow to be a bigot like them,
They cannot be loveing, but only condemn!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Born with a Silver Spoon
What a clever fellow you are,
Smart and debonair,
Quite a hit with the ladies
With your smile and slicked-back hair!
Did you go to a Public School?
I thought so, the old school tie
Hangs round your neck and is evident everywhere.
I expect you've got a good job too?
People like you always succeed,
But I don't care
Although I know it isn't fair,
'Cos your head's as empty as a hollow drum
And when I came knocking on the door of your heart
There was no-one there.
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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A Postman's Delight
A million housewives every day
Pick up a tin of beans and say
'Are you taking the piss?
There must be something better than this!
(Come on, darling, give us a kiss!)
I've slaved all morning over the sink
And now I need some time to think,
Gimme a fag or gimme a drink,
Your nod to me's as good as a wink!
I'd like to have some fun instead
Of scrubbing the floor and making the bed,
Don't stand in the rain, but come inside
And I'll take you for a sweet lover's ride!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Delinquent
When not making trouble or hanging round bars
They're revving the engines of their battered old cars,
Or else they're repeating in some small degree
Something that they've heard or seen on T.V.
They'll turn up the volume as loud as they can
And you bloody well wish there was some kind of ban!
To judge by their laughter and insolent stares
They probably think we're a couple of squares,
And that's what we are, so let us be glad
We're no longer young, delinquent or mad!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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Be a Good Girl Tonight! (Advice to a Geordie lass)
Now listen, young miss, when you go out tonight
Be a good girl and don't give us a fright -
If a lad wants to kiss you then cross your legs tight,
Remember your parents, be a good girl tonight!
Whatever you do don't drink any wine,
Avoid any yobs (they're just working-class swine) ,
Virginity's precious, guard it with your life
Or an honest young fellow won't want you as wife!
Remember to be back here at half-past-nine,
There are too many condoms afloat in the Tyne!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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A Happy Couple
She thinks he's really, really sexy,
She likes to feel the shock
When he is deep inside her,
Stiff, and as hard as rock.
She thinks he's really groovy,
His hair-cut is so cool,
It makes her lovey-dovey
And she knows that he's no fool.
He's given her two babies
Who howl and scream at night,
But for her there are no 'maybes'
She likes to hold him tight.
Let's hope it goes on forever
And that her love won't fade,
That's where the gods are gentle
And marriages are made.
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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In Vino Veritas
It goes against my conscience
To drink a lot of wine,
But the wine will take care of my conscience
I'v told you time after time!
So get thee to a nunnery
And curse the demon drink,
It does me quite a lot of good
Whatever you may think!
I'm gonna have a skinful
And drown my mortal pain,
And though you think me sinful
I'll do it over again!
I've drunk this stuff throughout my youth
And suffered not one bit,
The Grape will lead me to the Truth
And there's an end of it!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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