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John Carter Brown

There was a strange man from Kildare
Who, annoyed because people would stare,
Walked up the town
With his hat upside down
And pretended that he didn't care.

(Written Sept 2012)

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No6

I once knew a man in the Conservation trade
Known for the lecturing
Sermons that he made;
He thought he was clever
But between you and me
He couldn't tell a Bat
From a Bumble-Bee.

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There once was a cad from Dumfries
Accused of stealing some geese,
He was in a tight spot
But he cared not a jot
As he turned round and blamed his poor niece.

(Written Sept 2012)

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A young mountain climber named Peter,
On top of his form - a world beater,
At the foot of the Eiger
Came across a huge tiger
Now Peter's inside the man-eater.

(Written Oct 2012)

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A hospital patient from Leicester
Said, 'look, I do not want to pester,
But Doctor, I need
For this thing not to bleed
And it's nearly filled up my sou'wester.

(Written Oct 2012)

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There was a young fella named Pete
Who was born with two uneven feet;
He was tall - a six-footer,
But veered to the gutter
Whenever he walked down the street.

(Written Nov 2012)

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There once was a chap from Calcutta
Who had, on the horses, a flutter;
But electronic bookies
Kept sending out cookies
Which caused him, with cuses, to mutter.

(Written Oct 2012)

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There once was a poet named peter
His verses arranged in strange meter;
His iambics were rough
And the going was tough
Making love-poems flow none the sweeter.

(Written Oct 2012)

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A clever young man named Navid,
A Karate recruit of great deed,
Was full of youth's bloom
And would dash round the room
And be chopping the air at great speed.

(Written Nov 2012)

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There once was a chap from Kilkerry,
Who's arms were as brown as a berry,
But the hue of his face
As he tied up his lace
Was as red as a bottle of sherry.

(Written Feb/March 1995)

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