There was an old farmer named Jack
Who's ducks kept refusing to quack;
Then amidst the hysteria
Was found a bacteria
And their vocal-chords under attack.

(Written Oct 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There was a young sculptor from Thanet
Who's favourite medium was granite;
But everyone booed
At his statue, so rude
That the censors decided to ban it.

(Written Oct 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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A cinema-goer from Preston
Who loved a good drama, or western,
Sat glued to his chair
But would curse and would swear
If ejected, for having no vest on.

(Written Oct 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There was an old banker from Kent,
Who wanted back money he'd lent,
So he sent lots of letters
To all of his debtors
But found out that it was all spent.

(Written Feb 1995)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a man from Dundee
Who got stuck up a Sycamore tree;
His friends rallied round
But could not get him down
So he floated right off on a key.

(Written Sept 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a man from Drumcroon
Who whistled himself a fast tune;
He screwed up his face
Until so out of place
That his mouth near resembled a prune.

(Written Nov 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a young man called Seamus,
Supposedly an ignoramus,
He invented a chair
That could float in the air
And now Seamus is ever so famous.

(Written Feb/March 1995)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There is a young lady named Ruth
Who claims she's a magical tooth
That spins like a drill,
Live food for to kill,
And she swears she is telling the truth.

(Written Nov 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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A ravenous diner named Sam
Who, very partial to strawberry jam,
With no hint of a pause
Opened wide his great jaws
And through them piled all he could cram.

(Written Oct 2012)

limerick by John Carter Brown
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There was a young lady called Mandy,
Who used to drink barrels of shandy,
She was so full of gas
That they piped her at last
To the mains and then said: 'now that's handy.'

limerick by John Carter Brown (February 1995)
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