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John Carter Brown

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling;
She then noticed a louse
On the back of a mouse
As over her leg, they were stealing.

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There was an old man from Argyll
Who declared he would nevermore smile;
His reasons were simple:
A limp and a pimple,
Arthritis, gumboils and a pile.

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There is a young toff from The Fens
Who's monocle has a warped lens;
At driving his car
On the straight, he's just par
But boy is he good on the bends.

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An eldery dame from Seville
Who, when asked If she'd go on the pill
Said, 'It may make me fatter,
But that doesn't matter
As I'm already over the hill.'

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Mirror Mirror Rhymes 04

Mirror Mirror up the tree
Why are you so mad with me?
'That joke you told', the mirror said,
'It cracked me up, and now I'm dead! '

(Written Sept 2012)

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There was a young vicar from Gwent
Who promised that he would repent;
He said he'd just met her
And he would do better
But I'm not so sure what he meant.

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There was an old gardener from Jarrow
Who grew a great prize-winning marrow
It filled him with pride
But to get it outside
It had to be moved in a barrow.

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There once was a young man from Bow,
Who's brain was incredibly slow,
He had nothing in mind
And could wake up to find
He was absent and yet didn't know.

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An eccentric young man from Kilkenny
Who, skint - with no money - not any
Would teach you guitar
Then make you a star
And drive your car - all for a penny.

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An outcast who lived on the heath
Developed a new-fangled sheath;
Not for keeping him warm
Or a shelter from storm
But a cover to go o'er his false teeth.

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