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John Carter Brown

Sunday Clock

The old Sunday clock
Was a ticking it's way
With no effort at all
Through a long lazy day.

It stood on the ledge
With so little to say,
But it didn't surprise me:
They're all made that way.

(Written Feb 1994)

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No7

I once knew a 'sparky' in the building trade
Ne'er a thought for his safety
All his mates were afraid;
He thought he knew the business
But between you and me
Before he turned the switches on
Everyone would flee.

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No4

I once knew a fellow in the music trade
He was known for the very little
Banjo he played;
His playing was erratic
And between you and me
The reason was the instrument
Kept rolling off his knee.

(Written Sept 2012)

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The Car Wouldn't Start

The car wouldn't start
What a pain, what a pain!
Though she turned the ignition
Again and again;
'I'm sure it must be
All the cold and the rain'
She said, as we sat there,
All waiting in vain.

Written Winter 1994

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No5

I once knew a drummer in the music trade
Famous for the strange
Set of drums that he played;
They were made out of rubber
And between you and me
His rolls were tremendous
And as easy as could be.

(Written Sept 2012)

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Stripes

I'm not keen on the horizontal
I'd rather have the V;
The H is unattractive, no
The vertical's for me;
I speak of stripey clothing
In case you hadn't guessed;
And though I must repeat myself
The vertical's the best.

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No3

I once knew a man in the woodworking trade,
He was noted for the quality
Of furniture he made;
It was very fine stuff
But between you and me
To commission Mr Fission
There was far too high a fee.

Written Autumn 1995

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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No2

I used to know a fellow in the farming trade,
You could always tell his chickens
By the eggs they laid;
They were small like him
And between you and me
You would have to buy a dozen
If you needed only three.

Written Autumn 1995

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Lastic Bands

I'm sitting here tea in hand
Playing with a rubber band,

I pull and pull and then, Oh my!
It snaps and hits me in the eye,

I throw the blessed thing away
And vow with them, no more to play,

So make good use of idle hands
And DO NOT play with 'lastic bands.

(Written 1996)

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Baking

One day I decided to bake me a cake,
To fulfil an ambition I had.
I had all the things I would need on a tray
And the recipe wrote on a pad.
But as soon as I started to mix up the stuff
Things began to go horribly wrong:
The pad it fell into the blender and made
The poor cake so incredibly strong.

(Written Feb 1994)

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