There once was a fellow called Campbell,
Very partial to having a gamble,
He was quite good at whist
But he couldn't resist:
He would cheat and then speedily scramble.
(Written Feb 1995)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a fellow from Wales
Who bred a new breed of strange quails;
But his plans went awry
As the birds couldn't fly
And what's more, they grew up with no tails.
(Written Oct 2012)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a man from St Ives
Who, commended for saving two lives,
Said he'd had to react,
As the bees had attacked
While the thieves had been stealing their hives.
(Written Nov 2012)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a fellow from Tooting
Suspected of robbing and looting,
He was found with a gun
And was thought, 'on the run'
His excuse: 'I've been clay-pigeon shooting! '
(Written Sept 2012)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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There once was a farmer from Wales,
Who's chickens could lay six inch nails,
They were hard to squeeze out
But the farmer would shout:
'I need them for mending the rails! '
(Written Feb 1995)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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There omce was a fitter from Belfast
Who said that he was happy now at last;
'My gas-boiler leaked,
It blew and then I freaked,
And I was very nearly killed in the blast.'
(Written Sept 2012)
limerick by John Carter Brown
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Little Juvenile Snobs
Little juvenile snobs
Are such terrible things,
They get uppish and don't give two hoots;
So you cut them hard back
Like you do in the spring
To a shrub that's too big for it's roots.
Written Feb 1995
poem by John Carter Brown
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Lazy Boy
He loves to lie in, in the morning i'm told,
Well it's true that he ain't no spring chicken;
Just to open his eyes is an effort of will,
Seems his back, to the bed, won't stop stickin'.
(Written Jan 1994)
poem by John Carter Brown
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You Could
You could, and you should,
If you did, did you 'dould '
Is this sentence confusing your brain?
If it's not then it's clear
That you're like Edward Lear,
Either that or you're going insane.
Written July 1994
poem by John Carter Brown
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Crazy Tradesmen Rhymes No1
I once knew a man in the gardening trade,
Bob Green was his name
He was surly, he was staid;
He thought he knew it all
But between you and me
He couldn't tell a lettuce
From a lilac tree.
Written Autumn 1995
poem by John Carter Brown
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