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Joey Adams

Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.

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Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.

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If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.

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Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.

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A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

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Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

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Many a crown of wisdom is but the golden chamberpot of success, worn with pompous dignity.

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Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'

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A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

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People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.

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