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Jeffrey Bernard

I enjoy doing nothing.

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One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him.

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I don't remember ever being full of dislike and hatred for people, like some kids I've come across now.

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There's nothing undignified about lying about all day and being waited on by servants, sipping bloody champagne.

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Although I have to admit I have despised a couple of people simply because they have never had a job in their lives.

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Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead, almost. I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane. It gets boring.

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I have been commissioned to write an autobiography and I would be grateful to any of your readers who could tell me what I was doing between 1960 and 1974.

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The only reason I would have liked to have gone to university is because I like cricket. Not a very good reason to want to go, but as good as any, I suppose.

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One of the things that goes with getting older is that one becomes more conservative - and I emphasise that when I use the word conservative I do not mean politically.

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It's not name dropping, but not many people can say, like me, that they spent the day with the likes of Francis Bacon or that boring drunk Dylan Thomas. You don't forget things like that.

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