Secret Friends
I haven't met you face to face
But when we talk you put me in a better place
I met you somewhere i never thought i would
To me you have been so good
you are my secret friend
for we know only whats within
I don't know your physical appearence
but i know what color your hair is
I talk to with such ease
You bring my chaotic life some peace
I get antsy when we can't talk
because to my pavement you are my chalk
Your some one i can truly say is a friend
You havent judged me the way they did
so when you read this i hope you
some one cares for you and doesn't want you to go
stay with me my secret friend
lets hold our heads high and keep walking with no end
dedicated to Christopher Turner my secret friend
poem by Jean Pullman
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Perfect
When we kiss a wave of electricty flows through my head trickling down my spine.
when you are gone I can't get you off my mind.
I will be there for your tears.
I will fight away your fears.
I will hold your hand to show you I care.
I will kiss you and make you go wild down there.
I melt when you stroke my skin.
I can feel your pain from deep within.
I want to take it all away.
I will try more with each and every day.
You smile and my heart skips a beat.
You kiss me and knock me off my feet.
I've searched for you for so long.
Everytime except now with you, \Ii was wrong.
I want to stay in your arms.
I love when you keep close and warm.
Your in my heart and im hoping you'll stay.
I would dread the day you turn away.
poem by Jean Pullman
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Would You Care If I Was Dead?
You say you care and your here to help
But are those just words knowing you can say i love you and nothing is felt
Are you really there? if i killed my self would you be scared?
Would you cry and scream? Would you even care?
Would you notice and take your life in return?
Or would you laugh and curse my soul to burn?
would you admit your love even though its too late?
Would my death put you in a blackwhole kind of state?
Would you love no one because i am gone?
Or would you say whatever and simply move on?
I go through these questions in my head over and over agin.
Wondering what your answers would be if i was dead.
Well nows the time to answer because i'm afraid todays the day i shall take my life away.
poem by Jean Pullman
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What do you do
what do you do when you feel like you've made a huge mistake
what do you do when no matter what you try the pain never goes away
what do you do when u wish you could take it back
what do you do when you are starting to collapse
what do you do when you start hating yourself because of you
what do you do when you feel as if you are only going to turn blue
what do you do when u feel yourself wasting away
what do you do when you can barely hold on for another day
what do you when your heart starts to fasten until it explodes
what do you do when its as if your head is about to implode
what do you do when all you can do is hide
what do you do when your tears run dry
when you know the answer let me know
for i feel it is to just let go
poem by Jean Pullman
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A visit from my daughter
You came to my dreams and let me know your real
I can't begin to explain how you made me feel
You were my little girl
I held you tight and safe from the world
I don't have you yet but when that time comes
I'll tell youll be my special one
I'll love you like no other
I will try my hardest to be a great mother
I will kiss your booboo's and wipe your tears
I'll mend your sorrow and fight your fears
I will give you what you want and need
Because even not existing you mean everything to me
So now i know you're coming in time
And when you do know your mine
Your my beautiful creation one that is too beautiful for words
You will be my little girl
You came in my dream so i'll hold on for you
Your the only thing in life not making me blue
poem by Jean Pullman
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Disappointment
a mothers love for her daughter is true
but when you don't listen she cries for you
you act like you care but you really don't
you want to listen but you just wont
if you want her to be happy you'd listen to her
but all you hear is her words in a spur
you go out of area in school everyday
you trie to be with your boyfriend in everyway
you feed into the the bad influences that hang out with you
you get out of doing your homework whatever you don't want to do
you say if i don't want to do my homework i don't have to
but then you go home and see what she does for you
but when your mother cries
you just want to die
and when you mother is dead
your heart's filled with dread
and you regret every day
about disapointing your mother in that way
poem by Jean Pullman
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What you lost
so i am done with dwelling over your dumb choice
I am no longer hiding my voice
I will find someone better than you
He will love me and be true
I was mistaken by your beauty
When i thought that you loved me
We'll stay friends and thats all it will amount to
Because i know that i am better off without you
I know you'll miss me thats obvious
You'll never feel the way you did when there was us
You might find someone whos prettier
But you won't like whats inside of her
You mind find someone with some stuff in common
But not as much as me and you did
You will miss me and want me back
But i dont know about that
I might give you a chance if i want
But if I found better probably not
So think of the fate in which you've chose
Think of what you lost and see where your heart goes
poem by Jean Pullman
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What do i do? ? ?
whenever your gone my laugh comes back
But then you come around the corner and my depression shoots right back
Pulsing through my veins like heroin
I wish you wuold just let me in
that way i'd be happy if you were with me and not when you aren't
That way i don't feel the need to slice my arm
I am so sick of being hurt over and over by love
But you i can't get rid of
I am so cautious as to not lose you
I do whatever i can not to
i want to see if dating someone will make you want me more
But then i say no i can't because he'll just think i'm a slut and walk out the door
im stuck with how i am gonna handle this situation
I think my mind needs a vacation
I mean if you just gave me a chance to help you it would be better
then i wouldn't have to constantly sew myself back together
poem by Jean Pullman
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Losing You
i need you in my life i know that much
i can feel it more with each touch
yet i am pushing you away
knowing youll leave me one day
you dont deserve me you deserve better
someone whos true and beautifully clever
i wish i could have you to hold foerver u are my world
i wish i could always stay your girl
i hope what you say is true
cause if you leave theres no getting over you
your the best thing thats happened yet
you make my heart beat right through my chest
you held me when i needed it the most
you kept me safe and warm tight and close
im afraid youll disapear like all of the others
im afraid the love thats growing i will smother
please stay dont let me go and break my heart
its you i need now to keep me out of the dark
my life will end if you leave
everything inside will start to bleed
poem by Jean Pullman
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Stuck
I am dcf committed and stuck.
I don't what to do i am stuck.
I am alone in home with strangers.
I am unaware of any upcomming dangers.
I don't have a family to rely on.
I can only trust my mom.
I have been spit on and put down so many times.
I had swollen eyes from all the times i cried.
I am somewhere I don't want be.
I don't want people feeling sorry for me.
I am struggling to make it through.
I think of all the things I wish I could do.
I wish I could let people hear my voice.
Cause when I sing its an extraordinary and beautiful noise.
I wish I could meet my idol Gerard Arthur Way.
I know its bound to happen someday.
I am stuck wondering why.
why my father died.
I know people have it worst than me.
Thats why i try to be happy.
[...] Read more
poem by Jean Pullman
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