Beautiful
I am beautiful inside and out
I am beautiful without a doubt
So i'll stop listening to the voices in my head
The ones telling me i'm better off dead
I am smart and will make it far
I will be someone I will be a star
I will make it just to prove you wrong
I will let my life go on
I will not dwell on what you said
I will forget what you did
I am thin I am not fat
I will no longer tell myself that
I am kind and loving to those who need it the most
I will see you simply as only a ghost
I am courageous i will let nothing get in my way
I am all these wonderful things each and every day
poem by Jean Pullman
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How Could You
We started dating when i told you i felt the same as you.
I was afraid at first to tell you.
Now I understand why I didn't want to tell you in the first place.
If I hadn't I wouldn't feel this way.
Yesterday you said 'I Love You' so I wrote it in my diary.
Now you are saying goodbye to me.
How could you hurt me like this?
You filled me with happiness.
Then you ripped it away.
How could you love me before but not today?
My wretched life is just a waste,
So maybe i'll end it today.
After all love i'll never find.
Because when I think I do I'm left with nothing but tears in my eyes.
poem by Jean Pullman
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Suicide letter
Dear Friend,
i am hanging on by a slim thread. i am constantly thinking of suicide i am trying my hardest to hold on i cut my arms instead of my legs. I am in a permanent state of depression. i hope you're doing better than i am. but if i am on the news for suicide don't frett i care and will even after death. After all you got rid of my hardships for awhile you took away tears without even being physically here. thats more then i can say for him. well i'll go don't want to put my burdens on you or anyone else any longer. Maybe i will be reunited with my father.
Sincerely,
Lost and lonely depressed girl
poem by Jean Pullman
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Withou You In My Life
without you in my life there is no sun
I feel as though i can't go on
For when you left you took my heart
Now i am stuck forever in the dark
I made you leave because of stupidity
Now for that everything within bleeds
I know you were the love of my life
So now i choose to take this knife
Take it and shove through my chest
hoping it kills me for there is no heart left
If not i will swallow these pills
Hoping they'll make me deathly ill
if i could take it back you know i would
I guess i am just misunderstood
i am sorry about us i wish it weren't true
that i was alone and not with you
I know you probably will move on
Killing me slowly until finally i'm gone
poem by Jean Pullman
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Suicide Risk
Im at a suicide risk
I am repeatively clenching my fist.
I can't take the pain and broken promises anymore.
I'm about to close lifes door.
I wish life didn't hurt soo much
i wish i could find love
but im torn and shattered by everyone i trust.
i give it away way too much.
if i stopped trusting people maybe it'll hurt less.
If it doesn't stop i can't keep doing this.
I am fat and ugly
so why do others lie to me and say i'm not
i want to die
i hate this wretched life
i want to hit the vain and not be able to stop the blood
I want to pull the trigger on my loaded gun
I want to swing from the rope
I want to choke
I am at a suicide risk
I can't take a life like this
poem by Jean Pullman
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Scared
I'm scared of life and what i'll become
I'm scared of not being able to go on
I'm scared of what will happen
I'm scared of your reaction
I'm scared of letting go
I'm scared of what i don't know
I'm scared of losing you
I'm scared of being used
I'm scared of being hurt beyond repair
I'm scared of whats out there
I'm scared and so alone
I'm scared and searching for a place to call home
Will you hold me and fight away my fears
Will you tell me it's gonna be okay and wipe away my tears
Will you hold my hand as i walk through the dark
Will you stay and not leave or break my heart
Will you be there to pick me up when i fall down
Because i really need someone right now
poem by Jean Pullman
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Razor Deep
the razor slides across my skin
pleasure and relief i feel within
they ask me why
all i do is cry
i am hurt so deep i dont think ill ever heel
there are no more layers on my heart to peel
i cry and shake when i think of you
and they day you left and made me forever blue
i look to the sky and wish youd come back
i wish i could once again hear the voice of my dad
the memory of you will never leave our hearts and minds
your spirit is here for all of time
i love you and know now youre finally happy
no more drugs and alcohol or sorrow
i love you and ill think of you the day after tomorrow
yet you wont be here and ill fall into the dark
laying there lifess with a broken heart
poem by Jean Pullman
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Moving on
Moving On
By: Jean Pullman
Today was just like any other
I saw you in the morning then left to my job
And when I came home I saw you with her
Well guess what
CHORUS
I’m moving on
I want you gone
I don’t want anything to do
With another like you
Yeah I’m moving on
You told me lies
You cheated on me too
I thought I was in love
[...] Read more
poem by Jean Pullman
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Being with you
I wish I could be in your arms forever
You make me so happy when were together
You always say I’m beautiful
If I am feeling low you make me feel wonderful
I like the way you make me feel
I know this feeling is real
You don't hurt me with insults the way they did
You don't talk to me like I’m some dumb little kid
I like you so much it makes my head spin
With every smile you pull me in
You're the best I've ever had
Having you in my life makes me glad
I wouldn't leave you to save the world
I am glad to have you call me your girl
You are my world you are my everything
You make my knees weak you make my heart sing
I am overwhelmed with a blissful joy
I know that you are and will stay my boy
poem by Jean Pullman
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Friends or more thats up to you
You make me do things i never would
You make me feel things i never could
Yet you hide from me and when we talk you get shy
Seeing your face makes me smile n I don't know why
I am confused if i should choose you to be my next guy
I am hurt by others that cause me to cry
Yet when I'm having a bad day you make me laugh
In this new friendship I'm wondering where your feelings are at
I don't want to continue if I'm wasting my time on you
I don't want to go to deep and turn eternally blue
I am interested as to what this may become
But if its nothing this friendship is done
I am not looking for love
Just looking for someone
Maybe that's you but i don't know
Like i said lets see where this may go
poem by Jean Pullman
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