New type of guy

im with a guy who treats me right
He makes happy and warm inside
He doesnt try to go too far
Hes very sweet and cares for my heart
He doesnt talk to me like im nothing
He makes me feel like im his something
I havent dated many guys like him
I actually date jerks who dont care about whats within
I date guys who want nothing but sex
I date guys who i always regret
I am trying to change for i deserve more than that
So lets see where this goes and hopefully it doesnt end bad

poem by Jean Pullman
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I Hate You

you took my heart and ripped it to shreads
you broke me down until inside i was dead
you played me for a fool and used me like a doll
the whole time when i thought i was loved i found there was no love at all
i told others they were wrong i should of listened
i was starting to see they were right and the tears in my eyes glisten
i felt bliss and then immortal pain
my heart never to return again
you screwed me til i was lifeless
you beat me til i was senseless
so this is goodbye
no longer will i bear this pain inside

poem by Jean Pullman
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What I Feel about Love

I'll never meet the love of my life.
All I do is wonder why.
Somtimes I think it's you.
Because you make me happy instead of blue.
I wonder sometimes what those three words really mean.
To me there all just a dream.
if anyone ever really meant those three words don't you think people would be happy in so called love.
I'll tell you this no relationship flies as smooth as a dove.
the next thing you know the one you loved dies.
all you do is cry cry cry.
I wish I knew how love felt inside.
But I know I won't and alone I die.

poem by Jean Pullman
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New Light

I am looking at myself in brand new light
I am breaking the shattered reflection tonight
I am going to let go of the past and look towards the future
I am going to love myself and know i'm a shooting star
I will be happy once and for all
I will wash away my pain as the last tear falls
I will like my body for what it is
I will have you as my witnesses
I will take pictures and think i am georgous
I won't let any one hurt me or cause insecurties
I am breaking the shattered reflection tonight
I am looking at myself in a brand new light

poem by Jean Pullman
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True beauty

True beauty is in the way she laughs
True beauty is in her eyes
True beauty is how she acts
True beauty is inside
True beauty is unseen
True beauty is only felt
True beauty is not mean
True beauty is herself
True beauty can't be cruel
True beauty is bare
True beauty within you
True beauty is always there
True Beauty can't be covered with makeup
True beauty means true love
True beauty can't be baked up
True beauty is the flight of a dove
True beauty has no flaws
For True beauty is all that matters after all

all rights reserved to Jean Melanie Pullman

poem by Jean Pullman
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Hiding

Inside I am hiding.
Inside I am fighting.
I am fighting to hide how I really feel.
I don't want you to know what is real.
So I try my hardest to hide my depression.
I burry very very deeply within.
But I know you see it in my eyes.
And when you do I hope you die.
I want you to feel the pain i caused.
I want you to be wronged.
I helped you through heartbreak
You just caused mines to break.
Every time I let it heal up.
Somone rips it right back up.
So I hope what you've done comes back on you in ten fold.
I hope the rest of your life is dark and cold.

poem by Jean Pullman
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Raindrops

Raindrops are falling from my eyes
They fall from pain filled and blackened skies
They fall because of broken trust
They fall because of deceitful love
They fall because of broken promises
They fall because of sorrowness
They fall because of false hopes being shattered
They fall like pieces of my heart being scattered
They fall and create a deep blue stream
They fall after a blood curling scream
They fall because i am lost in the dark
They fall because you broke my heart
Raindrops are falling from my eyes
They fall from pain filled and blackened skies

poem by Jean Pullman
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Anger

the anger inside me erks to get out
i just want to yell scream and shout
i know how it feels to be unwanted
its not a good feeling or one thats wanted
i just want to smash peoples heads to bits and pieces
like a ripped open bag of reeses pieces
if you were me you would see how i feel inside
you would see how it feels to have your only dad die
yea thats rights my dad died in a car accident when i was twelve
thats why when i think about him i cry so hard its like im some sort of spell.
all this anger in me needs to be gone
before i end up dying too young

poem by Jean Pullman
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Cursed

I know I will never find love and happiness.
I know I meant for a life of sad loneliness.
I am broken and torn time and time again.
I am turning black from deep within.
I am hanging on by a single thread.
I know that I am better off dead.
Every one hates me and thinks i'm weird.
I will never belong here.
I can't take the pain away.
I try to with this silver blade.
Yet here you come to make it worse.
Making it known that I am cursed.
Cursed to a life of dread.
Cursed to be found dead.
If you read this it might be the last thing you read.
For I feel this is the end for me.

poem by Jean Pullman
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When

When will i be part of a real family
When will someone love me
When will i stay in one place
When will i win the race
When will i stop starting over
When will i get off this demon rollercoaster
When will someone see me for who i am now
When will i stay and be happy living in one town
When will i have someone to spend the holidays with
When will my heart feel a warm sweet bliss
When will i be loved for who i am now
when will they stop judging me by my past times running out
I hope one day i will be loved by a family i can call my own
I hope one day i'll live in a real home

poem by Jean Pullman
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