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J.P. Donleavy

To marry the Irish is to look for poverty.

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Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.

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I got disappointed in human nature as well and gave it up because I found it too much like my own.

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When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.

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When you don't have any money, the problem is food. When you have money, it's sex. When you have both, it's health. If everything is simply jake, then you're frightened of death.

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