The VIP Visitor
The Queen had visitors that day,
'twas Howard, John, head of Down Under.
She asked him 'would it be okay
if prior to the storm and thunder
which is expected early eve
that you and I, the Royal Queen
take with the carriage our leave,
to make the rounds and thus be seen.
The commoners enjoy the sight.
So they went off,8 shiny horses
she talked and Howard thought he might
bring up the subject of divorces
because he was a nosy man.
The Queen was steering with much skill
when suddenly, near number ten
the leading horse, his name was Will
released a cloud of toxic gas
which, in the company of thunder
had come out of the horse's ass
and scared the Aussie from Down Under.
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Well Deserved, Tara
An ipod for Tara is the least they can do
but I'm sorry that no one would give me a clue.
Did she win it in England or the world as a stage
was her poem a lovesong or expression of rage?
There are few who send tingles across oceans of foam
from their gray and depressing small chambers at home.
But this girl is a treasure that has stayed in the shade
to watch regiments march until all prayers fade.
I do wish I could be that tall angel who would
serve and always protect her the best that I could.
I would hover and watch there at ten thousand feet
and my thoughts would be dreaming that some day we'll meet.
Now, I hope you don't get here an impression that's wrong
it's poetic in nature, like a nightingale's song.
As my mentor old Johann, used to ponti-fi-cate
do not keep in your praise, it will soon be too late.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
A Poet
There once lived in sunny Tweed Heads
a great poet who had many pets
from a crow who could talk
to a wombat who'd walk
over all of the poet's made beds.
And on weekends he welcomed a man
who brought with him a stainless steel can
it was full of the stuff
that is made for the tough
in the morning he didn't need bran.
Mr Fittock comes every week
and without him it would be so bleak
and on special free Mondays
he can dwell on his fun days
says the bible, hooray to the meek.
And when MY friend called Gentleman Jack
pays a visit to counterattack
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Happy 90th - Abram!
It's a day we shall sing and be merry.
take a seat on the afternoon ferry.
Now Victoria bound
through a maritime sound.
There he is, with a small glass of Sherry.
Happy Birthday I say to the chief,
number 90 is just one more leaf
in the book that you wrote;
well you DO have my vote,
that I SHALL keep this limerick brief.
Let me guess, you are NOT eating cake?
In a pinch though you'd take a small flake.
With your nose in a book
and that far-away look,
all the gray cells are wholly awake.
So, from all of us, Happy Returns.
You can watch as the Mafia crowd learns
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Cherokee Traditions
A very wise, and old tradition
passed on through many generations
concerns the rules of going fishing
in all the lands, of all the nations
be not to take all you can get,
let little ones go out and grow,
and do not use a fishing net
attached behind your boat to tow.
Since Nature knows how to provide
for all her people and her critters,
you must go hunting far and wide,
and of the wild beasts' springtime litters
you may take one, perhaps a pig,
raise him at home to feed the tribe.
Always think small and don't act big
and only rarely do imbibe,
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Sherrie
While the masses, like auburn-eyed cattle
were engrossed in their meaningless prattle.
An opponent stood tall
with much spunk, all in all
and her spark then ignited the battle.
It was soon about matching our wits.
There were insults and other mean bits.
But when peace came at dawn
she would no longer yawn
but describe her formidable tits.
I am sorry to mention that word.
Just pretend you had really not heard
he who says that our chests
are the equal to breasts
is a very much ignorant nerd.
So I thank my opponent of old
who resides just like me in the fold.
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Friday Night
I once dated an overweight girl.
She was cute and her first name was Shirl.
When we tried to make love
after push and much shove
she kept saying let's give it a whirl.
But the distance from me to her core
was extensive, and things did get sore.
So we had to abort
'cause he WAS way too short
yet she asked me try a bit more.
So I went out with someone so skinny
who was braless and only wore mini.
When we started our battle
there was pubic bone rattle
and her navel was truly an innie.
Well I went back to Shirl in a flash.
And discovered that Shirl had a rash.
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
Sugar And Spice And Fourteen Blind Mice
Sugar and Spice and fourteen blind mice
sat in a room way up in the barn.
the name of the cat was Sugar and Spice
fourteen blind mice, they were spinning a yarn.
As you can picture, the odds were unfair,
though none of the mice had been overly wise
a mad starving hunter to sit there and stare
planning the strategy of a surprise.
How can a cat catch so many at once?
Only with claws and a growling old gut
cats do not utilise swords, spears and guns
this one just sat on her soft furry butt.
The night was soon over and all things were the same
all the mice had been snoozing, unaware of the foe
in the cold of the morning now the cat sought to aim
its formidable powers like a young feline pro.
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
America The Powerful
America the powerful, defender of the meek,
around the globe you fight the crime, democracy you seek.
You did not shy away at all, from roasting all those Nips,
and stand there, proud, so white and tall, with brave words on your lips.
Afghanistsn is for reform, you failed, with many dead,
so many bombs, such desp'rate screams, you spew your hateful lead.
America, the powerful, Iraq may bankrupt thee
but for the oil, you keep good books, in your democracy.
You say you must free the oppressed, you sacrifice your own,
your sons and daughters, truly blessed, knocked Saddam off his throne.
Four thousand stuffed in body bags, the nation sheds its tears,
a land collecting soldier's tags can overcome its fears.
I ask you now, America, do you not see a need
to topple yet another one, an evil man indeed?
So will you mobilise again, to see Zimbabwe soil
to sacrifice the lives of men for liberty, not oil?
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!
The Pope And Tiger Woods
The Pope dies on the very day
that Tiger Woods is whisked away,
their souls rise to the distant skies
where they soon meet with a surprise.
Administrative bungling can
affect in many ways a man,
the Pope (with nothing to repent)
was quickly to the Devil sent.
While Tiger passed the Pearly Gate
where he soon found a golfing mate.
The error was discovered though
St. Peter sent a note below
and told the Devil to release
the Holy Man, and promptly please.
The Devil liked the gentle tone
and put down his red Nokia phone,
[...] Read more
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Added by Poetry Lover
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!