It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
quote by George Burns
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning anf a good ending; and have the two as close together as possible.
quote by George Burns
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You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.
quote by George Burns
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
quote by George Burns
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
quote by George Burns
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
quote by George Burns
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If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.
quote by George Burns
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Age to me means nothing. I can't get old I'm working. I was old when I was twenty-one and out of work. As long as you're working, you stay young. When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age.
quote by George Burns
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Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
quote by George Burns
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