A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can do even better.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Fred Allen in in a letter to Groucho Marx (1953)
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Her hat is a creation that will never go out of style; it will just look ridiculous year after year.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can't remember what the third thing is.

quote by Fred Allen
Added by Lucian Velea
Comment! | Vote! | Copy!