I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

quote by Emo Phillips
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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

quote by Emo Phillips
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People come up to me and say, "Emo, do people really come up to you?"

quote by Emo Phillips
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Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

quote by Emo Phillips
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My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

quote by Emo Phillips
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At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

quote by Emo Phillips
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