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David Threadgold

5. Cobbles Tales

Cobbled streets and carriage wheels
Black handsome cabs for hire
Market traders making deals
Beside the watch mans fire

Rats and urchins fight for scraps
Along the cobbles edge
A monkey dancing gets some claps
Whilst eating rotten veg

A beggar sitting in his rags
With crutch and patch on eye
Asks gentle folk who carry bags
For coin as they pass by

Darkness fall’s the gas lamps lit
They cast a subdued glow
The peelers watch with trungeon drawn
For all the thieves they know

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5. A Punch-up

Punch and Judy always fighting
Crocodile is always biting
Baby crying Punch looks rough
Judy says she’s had enough

She leaves Punch to baby mind
He’s lost baby cannot find
Searching high and searching low
Punch thinks Judy mustn’t know

Judy’s back she had a hunch
With a stick she batters Punch
Policeman comes to stop the fighting
Sausages the croc is biting

Punch arrested took to jail
Judy searching starts to wail
Baby found beneath a bush
Fast asleep a little hush

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5. Itchy Pants

I remember my grey flannel shorts
What an itchy woollen hell
I remember they went past my knees
And didn’t fit too well

I remember being the only one
To have this unique fashion
I remember how they chafed my legs
I hated them with passion

I remember always scratching
Teachers told me stop that please
I remember how my pals all moved
They all thought I’d got fleas

I remember trying to lose them
When I changed for sport at school
I remember things went missing
But not these things you fool

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5. True Love

Arrows flying always trying
Cupid’s love no one is buying
Hearts are bleeding hair receding
Loves helping hand someone is needing

Now we’re older we get bolder
Beauty in your eyes beholder
Always teasing often pleasing
Chased to hard and now I’m wheezing

No more speaking bedsprings squeaking
Knees and elbows, back is creaking
But as normal tried my best
Now so tired I need to rest

In the morning daylight dawning
Hard to stop myself from yawning
Scraggy hair cold hard stare
No words said but so aware

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5. A Happy Ending

Champagne party popping corks
People meeting having talks
Moonlight shining having walks
On her dance card names she chalks

Take the floor with people dancing
Many beaus their arms are chancing
Hoping for some fine romancing
Ladies over masks are glancing

Fancy ball-gown’s what a sight
Swirling round throughout the night
Twelve o’clock strikes one take’s flight
From the prince as change she might

Through the garden as she rushes
Lost a slipper by some bushes
Cannot stop so onward rushes
Breathing heavy face now flushes

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6. A Change Required

I’m ready now to make a change
I’ve said it for so long
Time for life to rearrange
To right what’s going wrong

I took some paper and a pen
The ink began to flow
Changes what to do and when
Were laid out in a row

The first change made me tired
At the thought of so much toil
A whole house to rewire
Put the kettle on to boil

The second was to purchase paint
To brighten up the shed
This change left me feeling faint
I had a drink instead

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6. Must Have

Special offers at my superstore
Get bigger every day
With savings on their bulk buys
Reducing what we pay

I bought a pack of toilet rolls
Fifteen’s but paid for twelve’s
It seemed a super bargain
Taking three more from the shelves

Lots of chocolate biscuits
If you buy one get one free
This also seemed a super deal
So I bought another three

If you bought a jar of coffee
With extra you got bigger
Two of those instead of one
Would change our shopping figure

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5. The Beast

I remember my dad’s big Black Panther
As he kicked it went off with a roar
I remember him saying it’s a strong un
It’s pulling hard asking for more

I remember the sound from a distance
You could tell he was there by the throb
I remember its speed in an instant
From a dot to a great big black blob

I remember him trying to tame it
And the first day he sat on its back
I remember mum looking uneasy
When he said he would just need the knack

I remember the beast being thirsty
Many gallons we all saw it drink
I remember the back of this monster
It gave off a gassy black stink

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5. The Old Telly

I remember our first TV set
Large box and chunky brown
I remember the man who brought it
And Ariel that sat like a crown

I remember his simple instructions
Switch it off if it starts to get hot
I remember it sat in the corner
With a large tree like plant in a pot

I remember most programs were night-time
And the bulk of those were the news
I remember those nights at the Palladium
When theTiller Girls blew our dads fuse

I remember that most of our viewing
Came from someone they called Emily Moor
I remember the set caused much interest
When our mates all came round for a tour

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5. Bonfire Night

I remember in early November
We went looking for things that would burn
I remember the woods fallen branches
Got dragged home by each taking a turn

I remember the local greengrocer
Gave us crates that were all full of splinter
I remember my fingers being frozen
Well we were in the middle of winter

I remember our neighbours had paper
Old boots, coats and the odd plank of wood
I remember the midst of our garden
Piled up high and as safe as we could

I remember each yard had a bonfire
On the night of the fifth they were lit
I remember ours always seemed higher
Went right up to where our guy would sit

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