Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
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poem by David Harris
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Two Fortune Tellers Said
When Vera and I first met,
a second marriage
was the last thing on her mind.
Her first husband had not long run off
with a fourteen year old
and left this world in a suicide pact.
Some years earlier,
a Fortuneteller had told her
she would never end her days with him.
She would meet a tall dark person
sooner than she thought.
She shrugged off the suggestion,
as she never wanted to marry again.
With a failed marriage
that only brought her grief.
She was not going to take the chance again.
Once was enough.
She could never trust
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poem by David Harris
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It Comes - Part 5
(It is suggested that the reader reads Parts 1,2,3, and 4 first)
Dr Maitland shook his head,
“I am saying the elements
in the structure of the gel
are similar to that produced by a spider.”
“Then what are you implying then Dr? ”
“That the creature is a mutated form of cephalopod
that has accidentally surfaced in search of food.
Living in the darkness, it will feed at night.
As we know, the ships have disappeared in the darkness.
My theory is that the creature ejects the gel over the ship.
The substance with its sticky nature
virtually gules everything from floating away,
hence no wreckage or debris.
It then drags it down into the depths
to a place to devour it at it leisure.”
“We know that giant squids exist and have evidence of that.*
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poem by David Harris
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The Hogarth Experiment Part 4
Professor Robert Hogarth sat
and looked out the window,
what he saw each day amazed him.
Where the remnants of his burnt out laboratory,
he watch each day the quickness of the new growth there.
Tiny shrubs were the next day mature plants.
He noted in his journal,
which kept hidden, everything he saw.
Each day the remains of his laboratory
slowly disappeared from sight under a sea of green foliage.
It was not only the plants
that were growing out of proportion.
Other things much more scary had begun to appear.
These made him order that none of his staff
go out during the day under any circumstance.
It was almost dusk when the empty battery was found.
The police notified the Army,
but couldn’t give them no explanation
as to why the soldiers had disappeared,
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poem by David Harris
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The Enchanted Wood (Part 1)
Within the moonlight raptures
where the imps and fairies play
deep within the enchanted wood
where no lovers ever enter
especially after dark,
They say there is a witches curse
that will befall all who enter.
Once you have entered
you will never be seen
or heard of again.
Thus, so it has been
throughout the centuries,
a place where no one goes.
Once a poor orphan
with rags upon his feet
had nothing to gain or lose
started walking down the path
that leads to the enchanted wood.
People yelled a him to stop,
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poem by David Harris
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It Comes - Part 6
(It is suggested that the reader reads Parts 1,2,3,4 and 5 first)
Naval fighters in the vicinity of the Coast Guard flight
last known position flew towards it.
Reaching the area, they noticed
the blue light moving north and commenced their first attack.
Rockets were fired.
Great fountains of water sprouted into the air
as the rockets exploded beneath the surface.
The blue light seemed unaffected
and continued moving northward.
A second attack was launched
and further fountains of water reached out of the sea.
Slowly the blue light got smaller
as the creature dived deeper under the waves.
The fighters returned to base
to be debriefed and have their aircraft refuelled and rearmed.
Military Chiefs concurred that the rockets exploded at depths,
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poem by David Harris
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Summer Of ‘63
Everyone will have a year
that they will never forget,
for some reason or other.
Mine is 1963
and the summer of that year.
The year started normal,
but before it was over
my life would change.
Something would possess me
and never entirely go away.
I was eighteen at the time,
no steady girlfriend to call mine.
Then one day with my wages, she came.
I smiled and for some reason,
I wanted to go out with her.
A few weeks later, I got the chance.
I bucked up enough courage to ask her out.
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poem by David Harris
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There Are No Returns
As children, we shared each other’s games,
and grew up thinking we would never change.
At eighteen duty called to go to a far off place,
we said we’d always wait for each other,
no matter how long, we would have to wait.
The year turned into five, before I came home.
Things had changed, someone else you had found,
while my life was moulded to, and I saw a different you.
The carefree life we both had,
disappeared as the years came round,
our goals were now different bound,
and too many things had passed before our eyes.
I smiled sweetly when I saw you;
your smile back was just as sweet.
He stood at your arm to let the world know,
you were spoken for, not free anymore.
I just nodded as I passed on by,
and you could not see the tears leak from my eyes.
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poem by David Harris
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It Comes - Part 1
International Marine Biologist Conference 1958
Dr Roger Maitland addresses representatives from 31 countries.
Excerpt from his address:
We live in a world that teems with life where new species are being discovered every year. Our oceans are uncharted in the deeper depths. No one knows what might live down there; it is only when something surfaces from the gloom that we discover a more.
June 1979
The cargo ship Sulu Spray was steaming north,
it bulged with cargo from stem to stern.
The moonlit waters were calm.
The Sulu Spray’s radio operator
was talking to another ship within its vicinity.
Suddenly the radio died and the ship vanishes.
There was no mayday signal.
The Sulu Spray disappeared
as if it had never been there.
Coast guard planes were launched
as soon as the alert was raised.
Ships in the proximity of the Sulu Spray
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poem by David Harris
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Who Stole Our Outhouse? (Fun Poem, But True)
Several drunken revellers were walking home late Saturday night
When they passed McDougal’s farm and they spied a sight
There behind the farmhouse was an old wooden shack
The outhouse stood tall and noble out back
One had a good idea for a jolly spoof
‘Lets lift the outhouse and put it the up on the roof.’
‘But which roof, there are several there? ’
The others looked and grinned ear to ear
‘Lets stick it on the barn, there is a ladder over there.’
So at two o’clock in the morning they went to work full of glee
But they had to be as quiet as could be
Tipping the outhouse on its side
They carried it to the barn
Then got the ladders from along side the farm house
They leant them against the wooden wall
Then pushed and pulled the outhouse to the roof
Placing it on the top, watched it dangle there
Someone found some wood
To wedge under it, to secure it there.
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poem by David Harris
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