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Dave Barry

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.

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The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

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'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

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Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

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The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

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What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

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Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

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If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

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Dave Barry
Dave Barry