Health food makes me sick.
The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.
If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?
Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.
I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.
As far as I'm concerned, ""whom"" is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.
Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.
I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.
The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.