Men Cleaning Women Cannot Abide
My wife said she was going out to shop,
I knew she'd be gone for hours,
So I cleaned the house from bottom to top,
Then went out and bought her some flowers.
On arriving home she asked what's that smell,
I boasted I had just cleaned the house,
With what she said it's like something from Hell,
It stinks like a hundred dead grouse.
By doing the cleaning I thought you'd be flattered,
She said exactly what have you cleaned,
That really left my giant ego shattered,
How dare she leave me feeling demeaned?
The house is filthy what did you use,
I replied the same stuff as you,
She said it's my intelligence you're trying to abuse,
I'll now have to start cleaning anew.
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poem by Bri Mar
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They Use Talking For Communication
My parents were making a funny noise,
While looking each other in the face,
I was busy playing with my toys,
It was like a drone from outer space.
The aliens have landed I suddenly thought,
They were making a terrible din,
I'd hide in here in case I get caught,
I could feel them get under my skin.
I text my friend to ask if he knew,
Did his parents do much the same?
He e: mailed back saying he just withdrew,
Whenever they played that silly game.
I decided this needed looking at,
Were all adults really that sad?
It's a bit like watching a dog and a cat,
Could our elders be all barking mad?
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poem by Bri Mar
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As One Very Powerful Deity
Gods created the universe,
That's what numerous bibles state,
All life the creators did disperse,
Then they left us to our fate.
The miracle is the diversity of life,
Just how do we all survive?
Is it these Gods who give us strife?
Or do they help us to stay alive?
What came first the chicken or the egg?
I guess only the Gods can tell,
It truly is a question to beg,
It's like, is there a Heaven and Hell.
They must all be really clever,
As it was completed in six full days,
Work on the seventh, never,
That's their day to laze.
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poem by Bri Mar
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I'm Only Ninety Years Of Age
I applied to run the marathon,
Only to be told,
We're sorry Mr. Marquis,
But I'm afraid you're far too old.
I asked the lady in question,
Exactly what she meant,
If I couldn't get my entry card,
Their criteria must be bent.
She claimed I wouldn't manage,
Past the first mile station,
I said to her how dare you,
That is age discrimination.
She then said it's not your age,
It's the stamina that you lack,
If you ran a hundred yards,
You'd risk a heart attack.
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poem by Bri Mar
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Treat Each Living Second As Your Last
When I was five how I wanted to be ten,
I just longed to be a young man,
My mind would wander now and then,
I wanted to be in the grown ups clan.
When I reached ten I thought of being twenty,
By then I'd be driving my car,
Time for the future, well I still had plenty,
Getting older was a distance to far.
Now I've hit twenty I've nothing to fear,
Time fades past me so slow,
I'm still a young man so I've nothing to fear
I've still got a long time to go.
Thirty years old and it's still not too bad,
I've a wife and children I love,
My health is good I love being a dad,
My life is truly a gift from above,
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poem by Bri Mar
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The Meaning Of Life Is Unique To Us All
When I was five I wanted to be ten,
How I longed to be a young man,
My mind would wander every now and then,
I wanted to be in the grown ups clan.
When I reached ten I thought of being twenty,
By then I'd be driving my car,
Time for the future, well I still had plenty,
Getting older was a distance too far.
Now I've hit twenty I've nothing to fear,
Time goes past so very slow,
I'm still a young man so I've nothing to fear
I've still got a long time to go.
Thirty years old and it's still not too bad,
I've a wife and children I love,
My health is good I love being a Dad,
My life is a gift from above,
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poem by Bri Mar
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Politicians Will Do Their Own Fighting
I had a vision from God last night,
On how to end all wars,
Those futile senseless killings,
The vast majority abhors.
The answers really simple,
It's been staring us in the face,
The instigators are everywhere,
They're prevalent in every race.
It has nothing to do with religion,
That's just one inane excuse,
All Those who are responsible,
Are both arrogant and obtuse.
Finance plays a part in this,
As do foreign affairs,
Oil and gas are crucial,
As for life they'll say, ‘' who cares''
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poem by Bri Mar
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Without Them We Wouldn't Be Here
Ask yourself this question right now,
Is your view on your elders to mock,
If it is it's time ask yourself why,
You must put yourself in the dock.
To properly assess your role in this life,
Your history you just have to respect,
Those generations who have went before,
On them take some time to reflect.
Would you seek advice from your elders,
Or does the thought of that leave you cold,
Life is short so don't ever forget,
One day you yourself will grow old.
Throughout history our Mothers and Fathers,
Have encouraged their offspring to learn,
That the gift of life you must treasure,
The respect of all others you must earn.
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poem by Bri Mar
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Our River Clyde
From it's original source in the Lowther hills,
If you listen closely you'll hear her shrills,
It's the great divide between north and south,
At the Firth of Clyde is the rivers mouth.
The river Clyde could tell many a story,
Sailing and shipbuilding in all of its glory,
From warships to liners like the Q.E.2.
All built by the finest craftsmen too.
Throughout her history she's been well portrayed,
From the mills to the cotton and tobacco trade,
Many a merchant made their fortune from here,
She's a natural beauty we must forever revere.
She has flowed for centuries never taking a rest,
A beautiful river, full of life full of zest,
The paddle steamers used her for many years,
Those memories are still what truly endears.
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poem by Bri Mar
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Death Is The Beginning It's Not The End
From the day we are born we are dicing with death,
We have limited control over our final breath,
You may live for seconds or for many years,
Our demise is something everyone fears.
When will it happen do you wish you knew how?
Or perhaps you wouldn't if it was happening now,
When you're young and carefree you don't really care,
You tend not to think of when or where.
If an elderly relation in your family dies,
You ask yourself why everyone cries,
Why did they leave could it possibly be planned?
As a child it's so hard to understand.
As you grow older the thought crosses your mind,
It's then you realise death can be so unkind,
If there's a God is it he who chooses,
What's the criteria, who wins who loses.
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poem by Bri Mar
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