Colonoscopy.....My Second One.....[LONG; Medical; Personal; Humor? ] Humor
Despite all that could've gone 'wrong', the procedure did go well,
And next week Dr. Kao, to me, the lab results will tell.
I left the office wide awake, and, without sedation, feeling fine.
As I walked some blocks to meet my wife, on a banana and muffin I did dine.
I'd suggest pre-op and post-op post cards to keep patients on right track,
Especially for us 'older' patients who, sometimes, perfect memories lack.
The pre-op handout I received could be clearer; ask me if you dare.
The post-op handout was clearer, but I almost forgot I had it, I swear!
The pre-op telephone call to me (ask me about it) Dr. Kao might abhor.
The post-op call was a nice touch, but might not have helped if I'd passed out at home on the floor.
It's been ten days at least and daily aspirin dose (I'd stopped taking) is overdue.......but
My bowel's remembered, pretty well, how to handle the food I under-chew.
Roger reacted well to my idea of hiding fake poop; it was a 'joke'.
I'm glad he didn't laugh convulsively and through my bowel wall poke.
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Pills.......[SHORT; Medical; Personal; Humor? ]
please see below:
keep going:
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Prejudiced? Who? Me? ? .....[Personal; Human Nature; Racial Prejudice]
I'm a white guy, aged 64, raised in a small town way up north.
Do some thoughts I have about blacks signal prejudice coming forth?
First I'd say NO, but then again I'd say YES.
But such thoughts, by both whites and blacks, are normal I would guess.
What thoughts am I now referring to you will probably ask.
To answer that sensible question will put my mind to task.
My interactions with blacks, I think, no prejudice does reveal.
And the rare times I have 'prejudice' thoughts, I think they're no big deal.
Do you wish to know of what my 'pre-judged' thoughts consist?
I'd almost rather not tell you. But, if you insist.
I sometimes think 'nigger'; when and where I grew up that was a 'bad' name.
I also think of them as different though people are the 'same'.
And here is where I say 'I don't like generalization'.
By 'same' I mean neither all blacks nor all whites are 'the same' in this nation.
So whites and blacks can both be smart or stupid, mean or kind;
within each 'race' criminals and 'saints' you'll find.
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Parafake: The 'Word'.....[English language; 'new' word]
My wife used the "word" parafake, one evening in our bed.
Now don't get any nasty idea she was speaking of ME, in your nasty head.
In fact I don't believe either of us recall, of WHAT she was speaking,
and "parafake" isn't even a word in my dictionary. I know; I went peeking.
There is paraffin and paraformaldehyde, and parakeet of course,
but I could not find parafake; nor was there parahorse.
So I looked up "para", which turns out to be some sort of money.
Then I looked up the prefix "para- (or par-) ", with no definitions that were funny.
The prefix definitions range from "beside" and "beyond", to "incorrect",
to "a diatomic molecule" which, without super-eyes, I could NOT detect.
Well there was one definition of para-, the prefix, which I thought would fit.
"Para" can mean "assistant" (such as in paralegal) . On that definition I bit.
So then I looked up "fake" in my dictionary to try to pin down "parafake".
Guess what. There are widely varying definitions of "fake", for goodness sake!
Well I've chosen the definition of fake which is "one that is not genuine".
Therefore I say a "parafake" is an "assistant to one that is not genuine". If you don't agree, that is fine.
So a paralegal would be a parafake if her boss had no law degree, and
a vintner's assistant would be a parafake if his boss neither made NOR sold wine. You SEE?
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Silly; Old Age; Marriage: Who Put The Vacuum Cleaner Away?
I biked to Radio Road yesterday while my wife vacuumed house.
When I got back she was at computer, .....quiet as a mouse.
I did a little chore or two outside before starting late day routine.
I read to my wife as she fixed the evening meal. I'm sure the house was clean.
Sometimes when she vacuums, I find the vacuum left in my way.
Then, if she's finished, I help..... by putting it in its place. Hey!
Yesterday I found no vacuum left about. My wife is getting better.
The progress of my feet (through our house) no vacuum cord did fetter.
So it was a minor shock to me what my wife said this morning.
[ It wasn't a world-shaking statement, but I had no real warning.]
She said 'thank you for putting vacuum cleaner away.' Something like that at least.
It was nothing I expected to hear from her....at our late morning feast.
[Our conversation then went something like this; I will paraphrase.]
He: 'no I didn't put it away sweetheart. Are you in a daze? '
She: 'no I'm not in a daze my dear. I'd not store it that way.'
He: 'wife, I'm not kidding you. If I'd done it I would say.'
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A Sailboat's Last Thoughts.......[Human/Sailboat Nature; Drama; Weather]
The storm clouds covered the sun,
bringing to an end the day-of-fun.
I knew my owner was not too bright;
I resisted his casting off with all my might.
But though I'm bigger and stronger than him,
I was at the mercy of his every whim.
But this day my fate had a second master.
Both the human and weather brought me disaster.
First the wind picked up for an hour,
bringing with it a late afternoon shower.
He sailed me on while showing no fear
but just opened himself another beer.
I had enough anger and fear for us both;
if I could speak I'd swear an oath
that, if once more we did reach shore,
with that jerk I'd sail no more.
He'd probably not checked forecast or a chart.
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Homage To The Turkey (Second Try) ....[Birds; American History]
I sent off as suggested, my first effort to my Italian friend Carmi.
She read it and then requested something 'lower key'; to me that's Irish blarney!
I had mentioned, first time, Ben Franklin's affection for The Turkey; she thought THAT was nice.
I didn't mind naming Ben the first time around; this will make it twice.
Ben was famous as a diplomat when America was newly 'free'.
He was also an inventor I believe. I think once he used a 'lower key'
while performing an experiment with lightning, Nature's electricity.
It involved using a kite, and a kite string on which was tied a key ('lower'?) .
But back to Turkey: Ben thought the native Turkey to be noble as could be.
Despite Ben's efforts, the Bald Eagle, instead, was picked as a symbol of 'The Land of The Free'.
I must admit I admire and enjoy seeing both birds I did now name,
but the Eagle's pictured on money and well protected, while the Turkey's wild game.
Turkeys can be quite majestic when they strut about, their feathers ruffled and spread,
but unlike the soaring Eagle, in turkey season a hunter may shoot a turkey dead.
Death would not be my preference for either of these noble birds. I wonder now
if Carmi is reading and enjoying at least some of my words.
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Peanut Butter: My Old Friend.....[Personal; Food]
I had a peanut butter sandwich today
which made me think of all the way....
sssss my life has been touched by that
stick-to-your-mouth sludge of peanut fat.
Not 'touched' in the sense that's it's shaped my life,
but when I open a jar and take up a knife
or a spoon, I can picture times of enjoy-
ment as an adult consumer and as a boy.
Of course I'm lucky in that I generally enjoy food
even if I'm in a rare bad mood.
I assume pb was a common snack in my childhood,
though I'm not sure it was. My memory is not that good.
But I do remember my Mom made cookies from it;
I helped her. And the first cooled cookie I'm sure I bit,
paying some attention to the crisscross pattern on top,
or the sometimes-present big chocolate drop.
And when I visited my childhood neighbor, Helen, it's a good bet
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My Colonoscopy......And Life (Mine) ......[Medical; Humor; Personal]
Seven years have passed since my first colonoscopy. I had it in New York State.
That doctor said 'wait ten years', but my new wife and new doctor sealed my fate.
My 'new' fate made second colonoscopy come only seven years since my first,
and today most of what I drank I drank not to quench my thirst.
Tomorrow is the 'big day' and I look forward to its end, …… so
laxatives I'll no longer into my aging body have to send.
No 'solid' food I've had today, though on 'solid' food my mind might dwell.
To have some fruit, ice cream, or cereal...now sure would be swell.
The instructions say 'clear' liquids 'only', on this day before,
but, to me, the instructions need more details to truly make clear the score.
What does 'clear' in 'clear liquid' mean? ; they allow coffee, 'black'.
And it seems red grape juice is OK, but don't on 'red Jello' snack!
I've chosen no sedation if the doctor and I can do without.
I'd like to view and hear, as well as I can, each round of the bout.
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Kiss With A Twist.......[Marriage; Temptation; Humor]
My wife was out of town for a week. It was time to have a treat.
So I took a cab to my favorite bistro to have myself a bite to eat.
It was as I prepared to return home that I glanced at a corner table.
I tried to pry my eyes away from her, but found I was not able.
What had caught my eye was candlelight reflecting from a silver gown,
worn by one forbidden to me since the aisle I walked my new bride down.
Inside the gown was one of the sweetest gifts God to men has given,
a young innocent, creamy-smooth-skinned morsel to which my body was driven.
I tried with all my might to resist this newly-found temptation,
But, alas, I believe it was too much dinner wine that was leading me to damnation.
The craving was too much for me; I felt like a child in Toy Land.
I warily approached her table, looked about, then took her in my hand.
I undressed her with my eyes during our ride to the hotel.
That I was in danger of disrupting my marriage, I could surely tell.
I ordered up a suite on the top floor, for myself and my forbidden sweet,
but I did not allow myself to indulge, until I'd pulled up our bed sheet.
My mouth was watering with desire, my lips were slightly held apart.
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