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Alan Patrick Herbert

The critical period in matrimony is breakfast-time.

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Let's find out what everyone is doing, And then stop everyone from doing it.

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A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.

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If nobody said anything unless he knew what he was talking about, a ghastly hush would descend upon the earth.

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The conception of two people living together for twenty-five years without having a cross word suggests a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep.

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